Trauma is about the IMPACT not the event itself. The misconception about Trauma is that it only comes from extreme experinces. The truth is, depending on certain variables, Trauma can occur from some of the most common life experinces.
If you don't get the right support after ANY difficult event, especially as a child, and there is consistent reinforcement of invalidation or that processing emotionality is "bad" "wrong," "weak," or unnecessary. It will leave a lasting impact. Trauma can be defined as the nervous system reliving an unresolved experience over and over again. This also happens when you have not allowed yourself to fully process your own emotionality from a past experience.
The brain and nervous system will repeatedly try to resolve past experinces, the more scary it is for you, the more resistance you may build towards addressing them, and the longer the impact will last. The good news is, we can take advantage of this insistence and harness an incredible natural process of healing and resolution of difficult experinces.
This is the foundation to my approach, Focal Neurocognitive and Physioemotional Integration®.
You don’t need to value an event as a “Big T” or “Little T” trauma to understand how to treat symptoms. Trauma is about the IMPACT. How you are impacted by a difficult event depends on several factors before, durring, and after the event. The #1 factor being: Lack of Social Support. This is why individual resilience to drastically contrasting events can vary wildly.
I once came across a quote that put this into perspective quite succinctly: "Someone who drowns in 7 feet of water is just as dead as someone who drowns in 20 feet of water." - Casey Rose
It’s time to stop comparing, as that in itself creates more pain and harm.